What to Do When the Internet is Down
By Ebower
1. Don't panic! You just have to revert to earlier behavior you exhibited at some point in the 90's. Just breathe; the crisis will be averted soon.
2. Take a nap. Now is the perfect time to catch up on some sleep after staying up way too late on your computer or wireless device. You just HAD to post one more tweet. 'One more stumble on Stumbleupon,' you said. MUST CHECK MY FACEBOOK! Instead, you should relax so you can have another Internet binge session later.
3. Read! Yes, a real book, newspaper, or magazine; not an ebook. Don't worry, you won't strain a muscle turning the pages even though you're out of practice.
4. It's time to move. That leg that's been asleep for a week? Wiggle it around so you will actually have some circulation. Do a silly dance to some music (yes, from an actual radio or, ok, an iPod). Take a walk down the road and turn around. Just put one foot in front of the other. Breathe in; ah, fresh air! You haven't experienced that in awhile. Embrace contact with nature and the physical world.
5. Call some friends to come over and hang out. Have a board game night with actual dice. What? I have to roll the dice manually? Yes, yes you do. Talk to some real live people and touch them. Poke them if you must, but touch them. It feels good, doesn't it?
6. Get out that camera and take some silly pictures of yourself or your friends. Facebook profile pics? Ok, if you must, but right now just have fun with your camera. Makeover head shots; why not? Super action, jumping up and down screaming pics? Sure. You can photoshop them later; no Internet required.
7. No Youtube or Hulu? Time to watch your entertainment the old-fashioned way: TV. I challenge you to get even more 'retro': throw out your remote control and change the channels manually. Oh the horror! No, really; it will be a great workout for you.
8. Write in a journal. This is usually in a notebook with real paper in it. Don't worry; you can transfer this to your blog later.
9. Learn how to surf! Instead of using how to videos on Youtube, you can hire a real live instructor. Just think how post-worthy this sounds: 'I caught some gnarly waves when I went surfing today!' as opposed to 'Um, yeah, I went Internet surfing today.'
10. LOL Seriously, I want you to laugh out loud. Ask someone to tell you a funny joke. Make funny faces at yourself in the mirror. Laugh, smile, and enjoy life. The Internet and virtual reality will be back soon. Enjoy your real life right now.
Internet Addiction? Be A Hermit!
- How to Be a Successful Hermit
a humorous look at the life of a hermit that is centered around technology
Comments
Haha! Sounds like a great idea, Micah. Thanks for commenting!
Pretty funny. People really go crazy when the Internet goes out.
Funny Hub, so many people dont know what to do when the internet is down. Its almost sad the addiction we have to it. I'm always online and hate when the power goes out, but what I think is my background gives me the edge to this dilemma. My grandfather built a cottage in Maine on a private lake years ago, and its still in the family. Im used to being there with almost no cell phone reception, no internet, no cable, and if we want to watch a movie it has to be on dvd. Sure, theirs still radio but it encourages us to be more creative to pass slow down times when were not out shopping or swimming etc.
~thranax~
I enjoyed this Hub. As for me, when my Internet is out I do one (or both) of two things: Stay right at my computer and start organizing files or writing. One must never stray too far from his computer. After all, one doesn't want to miss the magic moment when/if the Internet comes back. OR - sorry - I head for the Smart Phone and resume business. LOL It's hopeless.
Internet connection down? No problem, I load up 3G on my Phone and resume business as usual.
lol this is fun :) nice hub
truthfornow: Thanks! You are right; most of us can't help going a little crazy, because we are so used to having it as a tool either for education, entertainment, or other uses.
thranax: I'm glad you enjoyed it! That sounds like a wonderful get-away place. We should all try to do without modern conveniences more often; it would do us some good to slow down more.
Lisa HW: Thanks for reading! Well, I don't blame you; most of us are hopeless without the internet, including me!
tamarindcandy: I think that's the best solution for those in a pinch. Unfortunately for me, I don't have internet on my phone, because I can't afford it. Although, my dad has a fancy phone with internet and other gadgets; I borrow it sometimes when I'm away from internet access. Thanks for commenting!
Mezo: I'm glad you liked it; I enjoyed poking fun at our need for internet connection. Thanks for stopping by and have a great day!
Another really funny hub, thanks for writing it and making me laugh! :)
Funny and entertaining! =) I will enjoy thinking of these tips the next time I am without my internet lifelines!
Erika Marie: You are very welcome; I love it when I amuse others with what I write. Thanks for commenting!
Meisjunk: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Haha; maybe they will be our not so private inside jokes. I'm sure I'll think of these again when I lose the internet and we'll see how funny they are then! Thanks for reading!
This is a very good hub with suggestions to do. I had internet connection problems the entire week after I got upgraded to a Windows 7. When I finally decided to call my internet provider and they helped tweek my broadband connection, I found out it was faster speed because their whole internet service went up to 3G. Now I have to pay more (like everything else)... thanks for visiting me on my hubs. Let's follow each other.
Well, I'm glad you got it all figured out. I know all of the writers on Hubpages, including you, rely on quick internet access in order to write hubs and respond to followers. Your welcome! Sounds like a plan!
Yes, #2 is exactly what I do - sleep! Funny hub earning you a vote-up and a funny.
I appreciate your feedback, Phil. Sleeping is always a great option when given free time lol. Thanks for voting!
Gosh, you're right! We've become zombies in a world of computers and other electronic gadgets!!! We must be saved!
Yes, beware of the internet zombies. They're contagious; haha! Anyway, thanks for stopping by and commenting, SusieQ42. I hope you have a wonderful night!
Thanks, you too!
haha The picture made me laugh. Great article too! My internet goes down like once a week. Cursed Cable One. I am going to have plenty of time to try all of these when that happens. The one that sounds the most enjoyable to me is having a board game night with a couple buddies of mine. :] Rated up and useful.
I thought the picture would convey the feelings of most of us in this situation! That's pretty bad, but we all have our technological difficulties. Thanks so much for your feedback!
You made me laugh! Thanks:)
So bad isn't it, how we've come to depend on modern technology? Actually, for me, HubPages has a lot to answer for - since joining I find I'm on line almost constantly when not at work, in an effort to get at least 4 hubs published each month. It means something has to give (and usually it's the washing up, the cleaning, the garden etc etc). Now I've had to buy a second computer as a back-up in case one breaks. I need help!
I'm glad I amused you, Write On! Thanks for reading!
Greensleeves Hubs: We all need help; lol. So many people are on their computers or iPads or cell phones in order to get internet access. We are all worried about posting things, writing, reading, and learning about other people's lives that we don't live out ours as much. Thanks for reading and describing your point of view!
fun suggestions... having no internet connection is an opportunity for me to rest, as long as it doesn't take too long its fine with me.
Thanks for reading, midnightbliss! I agree that relaxing is probably the best way to deal with losing internet connection. I know that most would feel stressed at first, so this would be a great way to just chill out. You are right; we just tend to get frustrated if it takes forever. Thanks for adding your two cents!
Yes. That's right. Don't panic. However, sometimes we cannot avoid to act that way especially if we are doing some important documents in the net.And yes. Read! Reading is still the number one source of information.
Good point, susci! Internet connection is more crucial for those that are working on something, such as school or work projects. Over the years, I've learned to save, save, save. Also, I have used the public library's internet access for my job when mine wasn't working. Yes, it's a good thing that we can still read books, magazines, and paper documents today. It makes one wonder if we will have that access in the future, but I can't imagine reading only online. Thanks so much for adding your insightful comment!
I really enjoyed this hub, the fact that most people really go off the deep end after experiencing Internet outage is crazy. I suggest a walk to the store to acquire a monster energy drink and then head to the nearest pier for achieving session. If you don't have water near you, then a movie works, you know a VHS. Lol thank you for allowing me to the enjoyable article. Can't wait to read more as you post them!
Yes, people with their modern conveniences; tsk, tsk lol. Good idea; I especially love the part about watching a VHS; so retro! I'm glad you enjoyed it; I'll have to catch up on your hubs as well!
That was hilarious! I really enjoyed this. It's terrible how people have become nearly addicted to the Internet (myself included) I'll be sure to use these tips for my withdrawal.
Thanks, bswan17! I had hoped it was funny. I think it is because it's so true for most people. I'm glad you'll be able to use them at some point. Thanks for commenting. :)
Greensleeves Hubs: We all need help; lol. So many people are on their computers or iPads or cell phones in order to get internet access.
Yes, we all seem to need our gadgets and the internet. We act like we are hopeless without them lol. Thanks for sharing!
Very good Hub. Voted up and funny. We have all turned into an internet freak :P I myself cannot live without it now - sad but true :P
Phew...the title had me in a panic! Glad everything is okay! What a relief!!! :) Gread ideas let's just all hope we never have to do without!! VOTED UP!!!
Yes, hopefully we won't have to ever do without the internet! We've become used to it so much that we're shocked without it. Thanks so much for voting! :)
Hunbbel Meer: Thank you for taking the time to read and vote! Most of us can't live without it, especially those of us on Hubpages. Thanks again and have a blessed day!
Actually, getting used again to writing notes manually isn't necessarily a bad thing, really, if the internet is down. 'To err is human, to foul things up big time takes a computer', as they say...
f: I think it's a wonderful idea also. I'm sure it would help some in developing grammar and spelling skills that they wouldn't have otherwise. I agree with you there also; like I've said before, 'Technology is great, until it messes up.' Thanks for sharing!
YW :)
Also, maybe re-read a helpful Bible passage in a quiet room; it can just go to show how quality time doing this is never wasted.
Blessings.
That's so true! We really should spend more time in His word instead of seeking entertainment on the internet.
Yes, well it's 'a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path' as David said in Ps. 119.105, right?
Blessings.
right :)
Yes, really good to keep feeding on the Word. Food for the soul. Blessings.
You speak truth, my friend. Thanks for the reminder.
YW. Prayer and Scripture are the believer's very life, right. Blessings.
Yes, communicating with God and reading His word are both vital ways to grow spiritually.
This was one of the most funny and entertaining hubs I've read on this site. Creative and hilarious because I have displayed many of these actions and feelings when I've lost internet service. Full of wit and you are an engaging writer :) Funny, awesome, and interesting.
Olde Cashmere: Thank you! Yes, most of us have acted in this way when we lose Internet connection for one reason or another. I really appreciate your comment. :)
Micah 10 months ago
I'll do what I normally do when the internet is down. Go talk to my therapist about how to get through the horror. :P